My current life dies one month and a half from now
It's always a weird feeling when you can tell the life you live is coming to an end.
In late August I'll pack up my things and head north, from Brazil to Canada, for grad school. This is something I've worked towards for upwards of a year and I'm so damn excited for it, but there's also a lot of melancholy that comes with it too now that I've hit that final stretch and I have my one-way ticket and a TRV in hands, because well... this is it, right?
The life I lead now, the life I've lead this entire time is going to disappear. The routine, the little quirks of my day, the errands, my parents' constant presence in my day, the times the sun rises and sets, how the light hits everything, it's all going to die and be replaced by something new that I don't quite now yet, and THAT new routine is going to be what's familiar while my current life will become a memory.
It's odd, noticing the little things that I'm sure I'll miss in due time. Even the little things that once frustrated me seem so endearing, now that I know they'll be gone. There's things I miss already and I haven't even left!
I think I'm leaving at the right time though, because there's aspects of that old life that are already falling apart and showing me that, well, it was never going to be a forever thing. A friend group had a catastrophic falling out and split and my long-term relationship came to an end, so life was never going to be the same regardless. Perfect timing really, might as well go for a full blown fresh start.
It's such a strange mix of excitement and melancholy. How weird life is.
Hey future self, what are you up to? Are you happy?